


safe place to land

by cha0ticfabray, wouldratherbe



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Car Accidents, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24620578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cha0ticfabray/pseuds/cha0ticfabray, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldratherbe/pseuds/wouldratherbe
Summary: I’m not what you planned, but I’m a safe place to land.or: a car accident takes ten years. and safety. and reassurance. maybe it takes love, too. quinn’s not sure, yet.
Relationships: Beth Corcoran & Quinn Fabray, Quinn Fabray & Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry & Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Sam Evans & Quinn Fabray
Comments: 18
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based on ‘the vow’
> 
> title from ‘honest man’ by ben platt

“Pumpkin? Are you ready to go? We’re almost late, and Finn is already at the venue with the kids.”

Rachel groans in frustration, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. “I’m sorry, but I can’t go looking like this. I mean, I feel so… _huge_. I’d say bloated, but this isn’t going away. I feel like a whale. And I’m not going to stand in front of our closest friends and family feeling like a whale,” she replies, examining herself in the mirror. Nothing is working anymore. None of her old clothes fit. Dresses are a no, jumpsuits are a no, whatever this combination is is a _no._

She glares at the bathroom entrance, fixing it on her wife as soon as it becomes visible. It quickly turns into a grin, because standing there is her wife, looking absolutely beautiful as she plants her hands on her hips. Almost twenty years of knowing each other, seventeen years of Beth, seven years of marriage, Levi, and now their third (and _final_ ) baby, and Rachel is still as enthralled with Quinn Fabray as she was the day she met her.

“Rachel Barbra Berry, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in the company of, and the fact that you are carrying our child makes you even more beautiful.” Quinn, ever the charmer, wraps her arms around Rachel’s swollen stomach, giving her a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek as she does so.

Rachel looks back towards the mirror, examining her outfit once again, and huffs. “Are you sure this outfit looks good? Because I try not to be this way, but I genuinely want to impress everyone. I mean, Idina Menzel is coming to our baby shower, so I have to look good.”

“Everyone is gonna be jealous of me at the party, that’s how good you look” Quinn murmurs, trailing Rachel’s neck with gentle kisses. “Now. Let's go, we can’t be late to our own party. Especially when a decent portion of our guests are from a completely different state. And you know how Levi gets when he has to wait long.”

Rachel laughs, fondly remembering Levi's last birthday, where Beth was late to attend. In her defense, her Finn-Beth bonding time had been scheduled for months, and it wasn’t her fault that the plane was a little delayed. But Levi had still imitated a perfect Rachel Berry storm out and refused to talk to Beth until she apologized to him several times. He may be Quinn’s kid biologically, but he is definitely Rachel’s son.

Rachel takes a deep breath, meeting Quinn’s light eyes in the mirror and smiling softly. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go, baby.” 

Luckily, the couple make it just in time, avoiding being rude hosts and, more importantly, Levi throwing a level five fit. The party is lovely, passing them by in a daze. The end of the night quickly approaches, and Rachel and Quinn are stuck saying goodbye to their many guests. (Or, Quinn’s stuck. Rachel spends a good twenty minutes following Idina Menzel out to her car after making lunch plans.) Finally, the last guest leaves, leaving just their immediate family. Jesse is loading their cars with gifts as Finn approaches them, Levi on top of his shoulders, and Beth following closely behind.

“We’re gonna have a sleepover tonight, remember? So it’s time to say goodbye to your moms, little buddy,” Finn says, gently letting Levi down. The second he touches the ground, tiny arms grab tightly onto Quinn’s legs. 

The _“Goodbye Mommy”_ is muffled in the fabric of her pants. He’s such a mommy’s boy when it comes to Quinn, and she absolutely loves it, Rachel knows. Quinn lifts him into her arms and squeezes him tight, giving him sloppy kisses all over his face, and laughing as he reciprocates.

“You guys are disgusting,” Beth groans, her nose wrinkling as she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her coat. “Hurry up, so I can kick Dad’s butt in Call of Duty.”

Beth, at 17, is definitely the epitome of teen angst, constantly complaining about every minor detail, especially when it comes to her little brother and her embarrassing, affectionate mothers. The streaks of indigo in her hair are the boldest phases of her so-called teenage rebellion, brought on by Quinn and Finn telling her that _no_ , she could not go to some random kid’s party, and Rachel’s just glad that no one has thought to bring up Skank Quinn in front of their daughter, because that would be the argument of the century.

“Beth, honey, if you wanted some kisses, all you had to do was say so,” Quinn grins, passing Levi to Rachel’s waiting arms. Beth tries to squirm away but is caught in a tight hug, gagging as she receives the same treatment as Levi.

“Mom, gross. Why do you have so much slobber?” Beth squirms in her arms, but a grin has formed onto her face. Even if she’s almost an _adult_ , she secretly loves getting this much affection from her mom. 

Quinn laughs at the look on her daughter’s face. “Oh, you know you love it. Now don’t miss us too much while you’re at your dad’s, and don’t stay up too late, alright Kiddo?”

“Drizzle and I will try to be in bed on time,” Finn grins, watching as Quinn’s face contorts at the nickname, even after all these years. She moves to shove him, but Levi is back in his arms, and he holds the toddler up as a shield. Levi, for his part, just laughs as he swings out and in and back out.

Jesse kisses Rachel’s cheek, and then pats her belly, before hugging Quinn and telling her he’ll drop the presents off at the house the next morning. She nods once, thanking him for his help before giving her kids one last kiss on their way out.

It’s silent as Quinn and Rachel make their way to their car, but Quinn is practically thrumming with energy. She jumps in the driver's seat, ready to be home for some alone time with her hot wife, Rachel knows.

“I am exhausted. We all know I live for attention, but carrying a second person in my body really doesn’t give me the energy for it,” Rachel yawns, buckling herself in and laughing as Quinn rolls her eyes at the dashboard, ignoring whatever she sees there.

“Don’t worry, Pumpkin, we have a kid-free night _full_ of relaxation just waiting for us at home. ” Quinn can’t help her smile as she starts the car, and Rachel rolls her eyes. The first thing she’s doing when they get home is _sleeping._

They are about 10 minutes away when the familiar opening chords of _‘Don’t Stop Believin’_ starts playing on the radio.

Rachel groans, rubbing at her face. “I will never be free of this song, will I?”

Quinn laughs and turns the dial, blasting the song as loud as it can go. She starts to sing along, much to her wife’s chagrin.

“I don’t like being poked,” Rachel grumbles, shifting to move out of the way of her wife’s finger prodding her side.

“Come on Rachel, join in on the fun!” the blonde pouts, running her hand through her hair, effectively messing up the style, and Rachel grins. She can’t say no to that pout. It’s her one weakness. So she sighs and starts to sing.

Quinn’s really getting into the second verse when a drunk driver slams into the side of the car.

###### 

Rachel wakes up with a groan, clutching the side of her head as her brain tries to fill in the recent gaps in her memory, before it all comes back to her. The party, ‘don’t stop’, and then… The car… She’s still in the car. _Quinn._

Rachel struggles to turn to Quinn, her body sore and trapped within the confines of the seatbelt, and can’t help the scream of sheer horror that escapes from her lips. Quinn looks... broken. No other way to put it. There’s too much blood and Quinn’s not awake, and _oh god, what if she’s dead?_

The paramedics get there sometime between Rachel grabbing Quinn’s limp hand to find a pulse, and them wrestling her onto a gurney. She doesn’t remember much. She knows there was a man there - it might’ve been Jesse - panicking, on the phone, and they carried her away from Quinn and put her on a separate ambulance. The last thing she sees of the crime scene is a flash of blonde hair being pulled out of the car. That was hours ago.

And Quinn _still_ isn’t there. She hears mumbles of head trauma, there’s talk of a possible brain injury, and at some point Jesse shows up, but Rachel is in too much pain to pay attention, instead focusing on what she can see of the ER entrance point.

Eventually, finally, a gurney is rolled in, and heads straight to a closed exam room. There’s lots of muffled shouting, and Rachel only registers that she’s moving towards the room itself when a nurse holds her back, tells her to stay still. She ignores them, and then the other doctors holding her back, and only stops screaming and begging to _please see my wife, just please let me see her,_ when a petite, older woman wearing Spider-man scrubs approaches Rachel and puts a hand on her belly. “They are taking care of her. We need to take care of you, and this little one. Yeah?”

Rachel crumbles to the ground, eyes still fixed on the room across the hall, barely noticing the ultrasound technician until her baby’s heartbeat fills the room. Her attention turns to the little screen, and the Spider-man scrub wearing woman smiles at Rachel. “Listen to that strong heartbeat, Momma. Seems that she’s doing good. And you look pretty good, too. Some superficial bruising and lacerations, but you two are fine. We’ll monitor you overnight, but you should be good to go by morning.”

Quinn, on the other hand, isn’t so lucky. A tall, graying doctor explains it to Rachel calmly, as if he isn’t telling her that her world could very possibly be ending. “She’s currently in a medically induced coma in hopes that the swelling in her brain goes down. We’ll try to bring her out of it once we have proof that she will be, relatively, _tentatively_ , alright. As far as we can tell, she hasn’t lost any functions whatsoever. But, of course, this is a brain injury we’re looking at. They’re all different, and there’s no telling what Lucy could come out of this with.”

“Quinn,” Rachel whispers, hand curling around her belly protectively. “She goes by Quinn.”

The doctor, Dr. Bauer, nods, staring at the file in his hands, before grabbing a pen and marking it down. “Quinn… Mrs. Fabray, is there anyone else we need to call?”

She gives them Jesse, Sam, and Finn’s contact information, along with their parents. Jesse will know who to contact for both of their jobs. She doesn’t want to deal with anyone else until she can talk to Quinn.

When Rachel is eventually released, bright and early the next morning, she heads straight to her wife’s side. A chair has already been pulled up to Quinn’s bedside, and she settles into it, grabbing her wife’s limp hand and squeezing tightly.

_Maybe if she squeezes tight enough, Quinn will wake up?_

Rachel barely leaves Quinn’s side for three days. Sam forces her to shower, bringing clothes by, and Jesse makes her walk to the waiting room and back a few times, _“for the sake of the baby.”_ It’s a dirty tactic, but it works. Finn arrives a day later, stating that the kids are safely with her fathers, and Beth wants to see Quinn. Judy arrives that day, too, and Rachel acts as if she doesn’t hear the woman ask her daughter how she keeps ending up here. 

Beth and Levi visit on the third day, accompanied by Finn and Sam. Rachel hides her tears when she overhears Levi talking to his mother as if she’s fine, as if she’s merely asleep, because she can’t cry; she has to be strong for their kids. Beth holds her mother’s hand, closing her eyes and praying, Rachel thinks. When she opens them again, the same soulful eyes searching her mother’s face for any sign of change, she just kisses the hand she’s holding and gets up.

Beth moves to Rachel next, not taking her eyes off her mother, and hugs her. Rachel doesn’t say anything about how the teenager’s shoulders shake with sobs as she watches her mother.

Quinn is woken up a day later.

Dr. Bauer only allows Rachel to be there, worried that anything else might overwhelm or crowd her. “She’s going to be groggy, so the important thing is that we give her space,” he says, hands folded in front of him as he checks a reader on one of her monitors.

Rachel can’t even begin to care about whatever it is he’s writing down, because Quinn’s eyes are fluttering open, and she’s missed them _so much_. She wills herself not to cry, and plants herself at the foot of the bed, watching as Quinn blinks herself awake and frowns.

“Beth,” is the first word uttered out of her mouth, and she coughs, frowning. “Beth?”

“Beth is at home, baby. She’s waiting for you…” Rachel can pinpoint the exact moment Quinn places her voice, because she frowns even further, staring at Rachel with an expression she can’t decipher. “It’s so good to see your face, Quinn.”

She looks from Rachel to Dr. Bauer, and the man smiles encouragingly, listing off the facts. “Quinn, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital. You were in a car accident. You hit your head, but you’re okay. We just kept you asleep for a little while.”

Quinn lets up on the frown, inspecting the cuts and bruises on her upper arm, the cast on her wrist. She looks to Rachel again, and that strange look is back.

“How do you feel?” the brunette asks, smiling.

Quinn’s chest starts heaving a little harder as she wiggles her fingers, her hands gripping the blanket weekly. “My head hurts.”

Dr. Bauer smiles at her, nodding. “That’s perfectly normal. I’ll get you something for that. In the meantime, here’s some water… For your throat.”

“Rachel?” Quinn forces out, brow furrowing before her eyes shut tight. “Beth is… she’s at home?”

Rachel’s smile drops a bit, not knowing what to do with the feelings treading heavy in her stomach. “Yeah. She’s with your mom, and Levi, of course. She’ll come by later, if you want, I promise.”

“Rachel, what are you doing here?”

The smile falls off her face completely as Dr. Bauer looks to Rachel, mouth open as if he has something to say, something to completely fix whatever is happening with Quinn, because this cannot be happening with Quinn.

“What do you mean?” Rachel asks as calmly as she can manage, sharing a look with the doctor currently scribbling in a file.

Quinn looks around, paper cup crushed in her hand, before settling back on Rachel. “You came to New Haven…”

“No, you’re in New York.” Rachel replies softly, reaching out to grab Quinn’s hand. The last thing she’s expecting is for Quinn to pull it away. A pen scratches even harder on a piece of paper. Quinn’s getting exasperated, closing her eyes and clenching her fists, bringing them to her head as it shakes once.

“Why would I be in New York?”

###### 

“New Haven? Quinn hasn’t been in New Haven in… Years.”

If this were a normal situation, Quinn would open her eyes and tell them to shut up. But this isn’t a normal situation. She hates when people talk about her right in front of her, but she hasn’t had the heart to tell Rachel and Sam that she’s been awake for… oh, probably the last ten minutes.

“The doctor said that in cases of head trauma in car accidents, amnesia is a possible… side effect,” Rachel explains, her voice shaking, “and if the last thing she remembers is New Haven.” The rest goes unsaid.

There’s nothing for a while, and then Quinn hears what she knows is Rachel crying. Even if she hadn’t spent her teenage years listening to that sound every other day, the woman has spent the better part of the last two days crying. Quinn’s well aware of who those sniffles belong to.

“She doesn’t remember anything. Nothing involving... me, not really. No dating, no marriage, no Levi. Fuck, she still thinks Beth is seven! She remembers _nothing_ , Sam.”

Rachel reaches a point in her sobs where she starts choking, and Quinn grimaces, hoping no one was looking directly at her. She’s pretty sure Sam’s focused on Rachel, right about now. _God, the sobs Rachel let out after Quinn woke up were ingrained in her brain_. Someone shuffles closer to her bed, and she opens her eyes to take in the scene.

Sam holds a sobbing Rachel up, murmuring something in her ear as his arms wrap even tighter around her midsection, and Quinn feels a twinge of… something in her chest at the sight. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say it was… _jealousy?_

Quinn gasps at the thought, drawing the attention of Sam. He gives her an easy grin and jostles the girl (the _woman_ , Quinn thinks, taking in once more the lines around Rachel’s face), alerting her of a newly-conscious Quinn. Rachel turns, gazing at her face with so much love in her eyes, and _oh, God, it’s blinding_. Quinn can’t seem to look away from Rachel.

It feels like hours go by before a single word is spoken.

“Have a good nap, sleepy head? I could’ve sworn I heard some snores,” Sam jokes easily, releasing some of the not quite uncomfortable tension in the room. She watches him, trying to relay how grateful she is that he’s here. Especially since Rachel, for once in her life, has chosen radio silence as her preferred method of communication with Quinn. He must seem to notice, because his smile grows wider instantly, and he dips his head.

“Hi,” is all she can seem to force out, her gaze moving to Rachel’s. _What is it about her eyes that she can’t bear to look away?_

“Hello, Quinn,” Rachel replies, before turning to Sam. “I’m going to find the kids and Finn. I think they’re in the waiting room. It would probably be better for you to explain what comes next.” Her voice lowers at the last statement, as if Quinn wasn’t meant to hear it, and Sam nods, kissing Rachel’s cheek before she heads to the door, a small smile on her lips.

_Wait. Kids?_ Quinn perks up at that. _Does that mean Beth is here?_

“Wait,” Quinn calls out, stopping Rachel in her tracks.

“Can-can I see her? Can I see Beth?” Quinn asks nervously. She still can’t seem to accept that her precious 7 year old daughter is actually 17. God, she’s almost an adult.

“Of course you can. They came to visit you when you were asleep, but Beth still misses you terribly.” Then Rachel adds nervously, “So does Levi.”

Right, Levi. Her other kid, her son. The one she doesn’t remember at all, the one she’s not even sure _really_ exists, because in what world does she and Rachel Berry have a child together?

Rachel leaves before Quinn can question her further, and Sam settles in the chair by her bed, smiling encouragingly at her. He takes a moment to fuss with the pillow under her casted arm, and she rolls her eyes, but lets him mess with her as he speaks.

“So… your family is here to see you. Beth, and Levi, and your mom-”

Quinn barely stops herself from rolling her eyes again, and settles for placing a hand on her friend’s arm. “Sam, I do remember you telling me all of this yesterday. You don’t have to repeat yourself.”

“Okay then, Smartass. Tell me what’s up, fill me in.”

They grin at each other, and Quinn shrugs, settling herself further into her bed and gently touching the stitches on her forehead. “Well, for one: I was in a car accident. With Rachel Berry. The last thing I remember is… being in New Haven, ten years ago. I was watching a movie with Beth. But that was ten years ago. Beth is…” This is where it gets… unbelievable, for lack of better words. But this is what she’s been told is the truth. 

“Beth is seventeen years old. We’re in New York. We moved here nine years ago. I married Rachel Berry seven years ago. And we have a three-year-old. Levi. Levi _Quinn_ Fabray.”

She rolls her eyes, grinning at her future self… her _past_ self’s audacity. Or, not audacity. Boldness, maybe. Pride.

“Yes, you do. And your job?”

“I’m a writer,” Quinn supplies quickly, her grin growing wider in disbelief. “A playwright. There’s no way this is real, Sam. This is ridiculous.”

He sighs, staring at her fidgety hand and running a hand through his hair. “I know it must feel that way. That’s why we gave you a couple days to get used to it all before we tried to… bring the kids in. They miss you so much… You know I wouldn’t lie to you, right?”

Quinn watches her friend, before nodding once. “I trust you.”

“Okay.”

Sam looks towards the hallway as a voice, one that Quinn recognizes as belonging to Finn, grows a little louder, and the sound of multiple pairs of feet make their way down the hallway. “Now, just remember, Quinn… Beth understands what’s going on, but this is still very hard on her. And Levi, he doesn’t understand at all. We tried to explain, but… Just keep that in mind, okay? And prepare yourself. Okay? Okay.”

Quinn tenses as Sam pats her on the shoulder and moves to the entrance of her room, peeking his head out and greeting the group of people outside. Slowly, they file in.

Finn trudges in first, smiling at Quinn, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. She’d talked to him on the phone, but he hadn’t been by until now, watching Beth and… Levi. A teenager follows him, holding onto the back of his sweatshirt and casting nervous glances at Quinn. The first thing Quinn notices is how _tall_ she is. At least a couple inches taller than Quinn, with light brown hair and big hazel eyes. She’s Beth, Quinn knows. Quinn would know even without all of the pictures she was shown, but she’s still so _different_. She’s not the Beth she knows. The teenager meets her mother’s eyes, before letting them flit down to her hands, and Quinn looks at the next person, ignoring how her palms itch.

Her mother stands there, looking as Fabray-ish as ever, although Judy’s ditched the dress for a somewhat casual pair of slacks and a sweater, because it was _”shockingly chilly for a March.”_ She was here yesterday, and had sat with Quinn for a good portion of the day, talking to her and brushing out the knots in her hair. Surprisingly, she was the first person to tell Quinn the whole truth. She’d explained it in detail, bringing photo albums and Quinn’s laptop and everything else she needed to tell the Quinn Fabray story. Quinn had expected her mother to grab her as she’d done the day before, but she only waves at her daughter.

Quinn smiles back, before moving on to the last two visitors. Rachel, and… Levi.

The little boy hides his face in his mom’s neck, and Quinn looks expectantly at Rachel, who sighs and moves closer, shifting him to her other hip to avoid holding him on her ever-growing baby bump. _Something else they have yet to talk about._ Quinn takes him in in the meantime. He has soft blonde curls, covered by a hoodie that Rachel tugs off so Quinn can see his face better, and even though it’s only for a second, Quinn marvels at his big brown eyes, the shape resembling Beth’s so closely that for a second she’s sure she’s traveled _back_ in time. He’s absolutely beautiful.

“Levi, baby, it’s just mommy. You’ve been talking about her all week! Remember? You had something to say to her.”

He clings closer to Rachel, and she gives Quinn a helpless look, communicating something with her eyes that gets lost in translation. The blonde, however, can probably guess what she wants, and clears her throat, reaching her good arm out.

“Hey, Buddy… Can I see your face? Let’s give your mom a break for a second, yeah? Can you come to me?”

Levi turns around, and Quinn can’t help her smile at the sight of the boy. He looks so scared for her, and all she wants is to assure him that she’s okay. She holds up her good arm. “Can I get a hug?”

He nods, and Rachel deposits him on her bed. Quinn’s not sure who she’s warning when she says to be careful of the wires. She doesn’t really care. Too caught up in the beauty that is this little boy.

There’s no way he’s not related to her. He has her laugh, she realizes as she lets him hug her tightly. He has a good portion of her features and quirks. He even raises his eyebrow just like her, and she laughs at that, watching him as he settles on her lap, resting his head on her chest.

She feels something akin to how she felt when she held Beth for the first time. Actually, she feels the exact same way. She’s surrounded by Finn and her mother, and her child is laying on her, smiling up at her softly.

_Beth._

Quinn looks around for the little girl, before her eyes fall on the teenager yet again. She’s moved a bit closer, her bottom lip trembling. All it takes is Quinn holding her arm out and saying _come here_ for the girl to rocket onto the hospital bed beside her, burying her face in her neck and sobbing.

“It’s okay,” Quinn murmurs, looking from her mother to Finn, to Sam, and finally to Rachel. They’re all in varying states of distress, staring silently as Quinn pats the girl’s back, shushing her.

It doesn’t feel right.

Quinn hates it, because she knows, logically, that this is her daughter. This is her Beth. But it isn’t. Her Beth is a buck-toothed, golden-haired seven-year-old with a Wonder Woman backpack, who fits perfectly into Quinn’s side. Not this... lanky teenager.

Quinn knows, however, that she must comfort this kid, must shush her and pat her back and make her feel like everything’s okay. So that’s what she does. She kisses her hair and rubs her back as well as she can and lets her cry, and she stares at Rachel because if anyone knows what to do right now, it’s her.

But Rachel is staring at the wall ahead.

“Hey, Bethy, let’s give Mom a break before she falls apart,” Finn says, tapping his daughter’s shoulder. “Come here, babe.” Beth gets up reluctantly, falling into her father’s arms and staring at her mother. Quinn looks away.

Sam picks up Levi, who’s half asleep, and then it’s Judy’s turn to kiss and hug her daughter, whispering something that Quinn doesn’t catch. But the _“Rachel”_ comes loud and clear, and soon enough she’s whisking the other visitors out of the room, promising to come back with lunch. Rachel tries to follow them, but Quinn’s mother closes the door before she can escape, and Quinn would laugh at the look on Rachel’s face if it weren’t directed at her.

They stare at each other, Rachel’s arms folded against her chest as she regards Quinn, and Quinn’s eyes traveling up and down this new version of Rachel. She can’t even begin to list all of the differences.

Rachel looks around the room, her gaze falling on a grey duffel bag that Quinn hadn’t noticed until now. She drags it over to the hospital bed, nervously settling herself into the chair next to it and pulling the bag into her lap. “So. The doctor says you go home soon.”

Quinn nods at that. There’s something... annoying… about how Rachel mutters this, because they were both there when the doctor said it. But she says nothing, instead letting Rachel continue. As if she could be stopped.

“We’ve set up the guest bedroom so you can stay in there. It’s on the first floor. Jesse’s going through your clothes now, and getting your things moved into your room.”

Quinn grimaces. “Jesse?”

She watches as Rachel looks up, brow furrowed as she shrugs. “It’s just Jesse.”

“Well, I don’t know him as _just Jesse.”_

Rachel’s hands fold on top of her belly as she thinks, breaking eye contact. “Quinn… “

“No, it’s fine. Forget I said anything.” Quinn picks at the fingernails on her casted arm, ignoring how her hand is still numb from the last surgery they’d done, the day after she’d woken up. Surprisingly, they’d said, her left arm was the only thing that had really suffered in the accident, and a few cuts. Oh, and her memory of the last ten years. She shakes her head to clear the thoughts, and sighs, looking to her bedside table, where her phone sits face down.

Rachel grabs it before she can even say anything, handing it to Quinn and blushing under Quinn’s speculative gaze.

The blonde unlocks her phone, and immediately opens the Notes app. Luckily, iPhones haven’t changed that much in the past ten years. A list of questions that Sam helped her come up with stares back at her, and her hand trembles as she scrolls through them, glancing up at Rachel. “I want to know some things. I asked Sam, kind of, but I want to know these answers now, and I want to hear them… from you.”

Rachel stares at her for a few seconds, before nodding, slowly, face undecipherable. It’s such a change from the Rachel Quinn once knew, who wore her heart on her sleeve and couldn’t help but display every emotion that she felt on her face. That girl is long gone, replaced with a subdued stranger, and Quinn can’t help but wonder if she had a part in this.

“Number one. Did I have Levi?”

Rachel nods, face softening as she smiles slightly. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

A cold hush falls over the room, and Rachel looks as if she’s been slapped in the face. “What do you mean why?”

“Why did I have another kid?”

“Because… because we decided to? Our lives were settling down, kind of, and we wanted a baby. Why else would we have a baby?”

Quinn bristles when Rachel refers to Levi as both of theirs, and it doesn’t go unnoticed, but the brunette doesn’t say anything as Quinn shrugs. “Next question. When did we get married? And who proposed?”

There’s a long silence between them, and Quinn almost gives up on the question, scrolling further down.

“Seven years ago in August. August eighth. And you proposed. Beth helped you propose to me. We started dating, though, two and a half years before that. It was a really, _really_ short engagement. Partially because you’d started planning our wedding months before. Two years after the wedding, we decided we wanted Levi, and he showed up the November of the following year. In this hospital, actually.”

Quinn listens carefully to the whole timeline, piecing it together in her head. It checks out, and she wonders what she would’ve done if the timeline hadn’t checked out. Demanded more testing? Threw a fit? Left it all alone?

“You’re pregnant.”

Rachel laughs at that, hand settling on top of her bump. “That I am.”

“Do we… When did we…”

“We decided to have another one last spring. And I got pregnant in early September. We knew that if we were going to have another kid, we wanted them to be close in age to Levi, so they’ll be three-and-a-half years apart. This little one’s due in the middle of May.”

“And that’s all of the kids?” Quinn asks, looking down at her phone once more. She doesn’t really feel like asking any more questions. The big ones are out of the way now.

“Beth, Levi, and baby girl. That’s all of them.”

Quinn stares at Rachel’s belly. Three kids. So mundane. Something she’d predicted for herself in elementary school. She’s even written down, in multiple journals, how she wants two daughters and _maybe_ a son. It’s funny, how Quinn always knew this would happen. She got everything right, but in a very roundabout way. She knows that old Quinn - or, future Quinn, maybe, she doesn’t really know what to call that version of herself - must’ve had a good laugh about that.

“When do I go home?” Quinn asks, locking her phone and staring at the brunette.

Rachel looks skittish, tapping her fingers on her belly and shrugging. “The doctors said in a couple days, as long as everything is going well.”

Things do go well. Or, as well as they can when you’ve lost the last ten years and your daughter is now a sullen teenager, and you’re married to your friend from high school and you also have a new child and one on the way and your mother has to go home soon and everything’s wrong, seriously wrong, in your head.

But her psychologist, neurologist, and orthopedist clear her to be discharged, and she’s set up with multiple types of therapists and doctors to return to. Rachel is given multiple prescriptions to keep track of, and instructions to follow, and Quinn wishes they were saying these things to _her_ , but her mind is still considered _foggy_ because she forgot what time lunch was coming yesterday, so it all lands on her next of kin.

Beth and Levi show up that morning with Finn and Sam, bringing another duffle bag and taking the one with dirty clothes. Levi plops himself in her lap instantly, talking about nothing and everything. Beth had started right by her side, but slowly drifts closer to her father and Rachel as it becomes clear that Quinn wouldn’t be saying anything other than _hello, thank you_ anytime soon.

It isn’t that Quinn doesn’t want to talk to Beth. It’s just that… that isn’t the Beth she left. She’s still looking for a clingy seven-year-old who was constantly creating some kind of mischief. Not a sullen teenager who looks as lost as Quinn feels. She doesn’t know what to say to her. So she settles for a rushed _I love you_ when Finn starts to usher the family out of the room for breakfast with a promise to see them at home later.

They make her leave in a wheelchair. Rachel is carrying the mostly empty duffle bag, talking with the nurse about some news story, and Quinn takes the time to look around at her surroundings. There are some things she hasn’t seen before, but she doesn’t feel like she’s been thrusted into a whole new dimension. People are still loud, annoying, and obsessed with their phones.

Quinn picks at the grey sweats, before tugging at the collar of the sweatshirt Rachel had handed her that morning, and fumbling with the sunglasses in her lap as Rachel goes to pull the car around. Her casted arm rests useless in the sling, and she’s getting hot sitting in the sun, although it is kind of chilly.

“You two are so cute,” the nurse says, his arms folding as Quinn turns around. “She really loves you.”

Quinn just nods, and thanks the man, even though she really doesn’t understand what’s so _cute_ about them, sighing in relief at the sight of Rachel behind the wheel.

The car ride home is uneventful, with Rachel putting on a playlist filled with songs that she doesn’t recognize for the life of her. She guesses there’s no way she’d be able to. Rachel’s voice is on one of them, though. She doesn’t ask what song it is.

They pull into a surprisingly suburban neighborhood, and Quinn almost laughs at the sight of the quaint blue house with a yellow door. It’s so… _Quinn._

Rachel leads her through the garage to a little walkway, and into a foyer. The first thing she notices is a banner over the living room entrance that reads _Welcome Home, Mommy!_ The brunette steps away from her and down a hallway with the duffel bag, and Quinn takes in the empty room. There’s a portrait of her and Rachel on the steps of their front porch, a slightly younger Levi settled on Rachel’s lap and Beth in front of them both. They all match, though the picture itself is pretty informal. Tons of professional family pictures surround them, and a few candids. Pictures of Beth and Rachel in a dressing room, of Beth and Levi with orange wedges in their mouth, Quinn and what must be Levi in a hospital bed, them but with Rachel. Her eyes settle on one of just her and Rachel, wrapped around each other, faces pressed close together as they gaze at each other.

“Aw, shit. We missed it. Dad! They already came in!”

Quinn whips around, and spots Beth on a staircase, shaking her head. “Sorry. We were going to surprise you, but Dad thought we had more time.”

“MOMMY!” Quinn hears a yell from upstairs, followed by the sounds of someone running. Levi appears at the top of the staircase in a flash and goes to bolt to Quinn, grimacing when he’s lifted into the air by Beth.

“Dude, we talked about this, you can’t be your regular tornado of chaos around Mommy right now,” she scolds, her arms tightening around her writhing brother.

The sight of them together brings on yet another sense of deja-new (aptly named by Sam), and she struggles to coincide the two kids before her with the one she’d seen, just yesterday. Or, the yesterday ten years ago.

”Aw, crap! _Someone_ was supposed to warn us before you guys got here!” Finn appears suddenly, his arms filled with party decorations.

“Dad, Mom’s gonna be pi- so mad if Levi starts saying stuff like… _c-r-a-p,”_ Beth sighs, gesturing to Levi in her arms. It doesn’t take long for Quinn to figure out that she is not the mom Beth is referring to. She can’t say she likes the way it makes her feel. The last thing she remembers is being Beth’s mom, and suddenly, overnight, Beth has another. And it’s _Rachel Berry._ Quinn would say that her long-lasting grudge against the girl is over, honestly, she would. But _still._ Does Beth like Rachel better? She probably does, considering.

“Quinn?” Rachel’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts. Quinn glances at the woman, who must’ve walked back into the room without Quinn noticing, to see her eyes full of worry. Rachel somehow must be able to tell what is going through her mind. It’s unnerving.

Quinn clears her throat, schooling her face into a neutral expression. “I’m fine, Rachel. Beth, you can set Levi down, yeah? Just remember, Bud, that Mommy is still very sore, okay?”

Beth gives her a nervous smile, her eyes also filled with worry. Can Beth read her emotions too? _God, that is so not fair._

“Hear that, Squirt? You gotta be nice and gentle with Mommy. Do you think you can do that?” Beth asks Levi, who nods excitedly. She sets him down, and he walks slowly, dare she say dramatically, towards his mother. She can hear Rachel stifling a laugh, and she has to cover her own when he reaches her, pausing to gaze up at her with wide, innocent eyes.

“Hug, Mommy?” Levi asks, his face giving what is almost an exact copy of Rachel’s classic pout. Which doesn’t even make sense. Nevertheless, she feels herself kneeling down, not giving it a second thought.

Her son has so much power over her and she doesn’t even remember giving birth to him. He gently wraps his tiny arms around her, and it takes her a second to return the hug, feeling supremely awkward as everyone’s eyes melt into her. But eventually, Quinn relaxes. She feels sure with this boy, her son, in her arms, much more so than she has in a while.

One glance up finds Rachel staring at her, and Quinn has to look away again, and think about investing in a pair of sunglasses, maybe, because she’s going to go blind if Rachel keeps looking at her like that. God, it makes her uncomfortable.

She may be ready to accept that this is her son, and even that the girl on the steps is her daughter, but she can’t accept that she’s married to Rachel. At least not right now. Quinn hopes the woman understands that, and knows, in her gut, that she won’t be able to.

Levi laughs as she shuts her eyes and squeezes him tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

“Mommy! It’s sunshine!”

Levi wakes her up every day at 6:30, give or take a few minutes. This is a new part of her routine. Quinn suspects Beth lets him loose, as she usually only sees the teenager when she’s being dragged for breakfast, already dressed for her day.

“Mommy, _wake. Up.”_ A tiny finger pokes her eyelid, pulling it up, and Quinn gasps, sitting up and resisting the urge to throw the little body off her chest.

“Levi, what did we say about touching eyes?”

Big brown eyes stare up at her, threatening to fill with tears at her tone. Quinn resists the urge to roll her own, because _seriously, how dramatic._ “Don’t do it?”

“Exactly, baby. So let’s not do it again.” She knows it’ll happen again tomorrow. She knows she’ll scold him again tomorrow. This is also a new part of her routine. “Now go wake up Momma while I make breakfast.”

Levi grins and leaps off her bed, and she hears his little feet patter up the stairs to the master bedroom to wake up Rachel. She pushes away the thought as she’s brushing her teeth, not wanting to think of the other woman in the house, and begins breakfast. Another new part of her routine.

It’s a part of her therapy. She was first told to list her daily routine, and then Rachel gave her her _current_ routine, and they merged them together. So Beth waking her up was replaced with _Levi_ waking her up. The Poptarts and travel time she’d calculated for New Haven had been taken over by making a breakfast that was growing exceedingly more complicated every day. But it’s become something she needs to do.

She has a job, but she’s not needed at it. The show’s been on Broadway steadily for a few months now, and her composer and directors are doing just fine running the whole shebang. The script that Rachel had shown her still sits on her laptop, half finished. Quinn doesn’t remember where she was going with it, though, and reading it just frustrates her. Her days are spent working out, reading, and avoiding Rachel. And Beth. And just about everyone else who tries to seek her out.

“Mom, have you seen my math folder?”

Quinn looks up from where she’s cracking an egg to find Beth (her _daughter,_ she reminds herself) rifling through her backpack. “I think I might’ve seen it… on the television stand? Maybe?”

Beth crosses the living room, and Quinn doesn’t bother watching her. She’ll find it at some point. And if she doesn’t… well, she’ll learn her lesson. But Quinn’s cracking eggs, and she doesn’t feel like dealing with interruptions right now.

_Your daughter isn’t an interruption, Quinn._ The blonde’s brow furrows as she thinks to herself, risking a glance at the teenager moving to the piano in search of the elusive folder.

“Found it. I think Mom put it on the piano bench last night.” Beth rounds the corner into the kitchen, and sidesteps Quinn, heading straight for the refrigerator and pulling out a purple lunch pail. “Okay, bye, Mom. See you later.”

“Wait, where are you… It’s barely seven. Why are you leaving so early?” Quinn questions, turning to acknowledge the girl fully. Beth smiles at her, almost like she’s happy that Quinn’s paying attention to her, and the blonde’s heart clenches.

“I have rehearsals this morning. Remember? Every Thursday.”

Quinn doesn’t remember, because last Thursday, she had spent the night at Sam’s, and the Thursday before that, she was hopped up on pain medication, but she still nods, albeit a little absently, and goes, “Oh. Right.” She turns away before Beth can give her the look she saves for when Quinn forgets something. _That_ look. Like Quinn killed her puppy.

“Bye, Mom. Love you.” She’s out the door before Quinn can respond. Maybe because she knows Quinn won’t.

It isn’t for another twenty minutes, when Quinn is finishing the stack of (vegan) pancakes and bacon, along with her _normal person_ bacon, that Rachel and Levi make their entrance. Levi’s dressed for the day, and Rachel grimaces as she presses a hand to the small of her back, carrying him down the stairs.

Quinn meets her halfway, and takes the ball of energy, pressing a kiss to his cheeks as she sets him in his highchair. “Did you pick your outfit for today?”

Levi nods, and Quinn grins, inspecting his choices. Rainbow socks, pink pants, a purple and green t-shirt, and a grey beanie. “Nice.”

“Good morning, Quinn,” Rachel sighs, sitting next to Levi and reaching for the bib. Quinn thinks he’s too old for the bib. Rachel ignores her every time she voices these thoughts. “Beth left, yes?”

“Yeah, about twenty minutes ago. Levi, how many pancakes do you want?”

“UM!”

The little boy shifts in his seat, rocking back and forth as he thinks of a number. He can count to twelve without help, so Quinn is prepared to have to talk him down to a reasonable number.

“Just give him one,” Rachel frowns, pulling her phone out and responding to whatever messages she missed.

“Four!”

“Four?” Quinn smiles, tickling the little boy’s sides and relishing his squeals. “Maybe when you’re four. How about three?”

“Quinn,” Rachel warns, following the woman into the kitchen. “He doesn’t need _three_ pancakes. He won’t finish them and then we’ll be wasting food.”

“No, I’ll eat them.”

“And then _you_ won’t finish them and we’ll be wasting food.”

Quinn glares at Rachel from in front of the cupboard, fruit cup in hand, and Rachel rolled her eyes and picked up her own plate.

“Fine. Do what you want, Quinn.”

“Do what I _want?_ Levi asked for more pancakes. We have pancakes to give him. Is there really a problem here?”

“No, there’s not a problem, Quinn.” The brunette rifled a hand through her hair, before opening the fridge and pulling out the apple juice. “Do you have a problem, Quinn?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get really tired of the passive-aggressive shit. Just say what you want to say, Rachel.” 

The slamming of the fridge startles Quinn, and she can see Levi jump out of the corner of her eye, turning his head to watch them argue. They should stop, Quinn knows, and she knows Rachel knows, too, but it’s already started.

“I _said_ what I wanted to say, and you ignored me. I said, ‘Quinn, Levi doesn’t need three pancakes,’ and you completely disregarded me. And that’s how it’s been for the last two weeks! So, yeah, I think I’ve earned the right to be a little short with you,” Rachel snarls, pressing her hands into the countertop and scowling at the blonde.

“Because this is what I can give him! This is what I can give him. I’m trying to get to know him, Rachel. I feel so _fucking_ guilty every day, because I don’t! I don’t know him. But I’m _trying.”_ Quinn wants to pull her hair out. She wants to scream and cry and throw a damn fit like she’s three years old. And Rachel must know that. And she decides to keep pushing anyway.

“And what about Beth? What about our daughter, huh?”

“What do you mean, _our_ daughter?” It’s a low blow, Quinn knows, but she hates when Rachel calls her that. She’s the only one that does, sure, but it still rubs her the wrong way. By the look on Rachel’s face, the brunette couldn’t give a flying fuck if she had to beat Quinn upside the head with the statement every damn day.

“Don’t you dare insinuate that Beth isn’t my daughter. Especially not when she’s been climbing into _my_ bed every night, crying because her mother won’t even _look_ at her. What about me? When was the last time we had a conversation that didn’t end in a _fight?_ I want my wife back!”

“I’m not your wife, Rachel!”

There’s silence, all at once, and Quinn just feels as though their metaphorical fever has broken. For now. Rachel looks as if someone’s slapped her. She’s been looking like that a lot, lately. It’s usually Quinn’s fault.

“Well. You’re still Beth’s mother. You’re still Levi’s mother. You’re still _this_ baby’s mother. I still need you to act like you’re even a tiny part of this family, and not… whatever this is. I can’t hold it together for the both of us, Quinn, and I shouldn’t have to.”

That’s how most mornings go. If Beth is there, she takes Levi upstairs, but today, he heard all of it.

They both just stare at the little boy, and he looks between the both of them, and Quinn can practically see the anxiety disorder forming in his little brain as he tugs at his hair.

Rachel walks away first, abandoning the first floor entirely. “I have a doctor’s appointment at ten, so I’m going to get ready to go.”

“I have a doctor’s appointment-”

“At three, I know.” Rachel watches her for another second, leaning against the stair railing. Quinn doesn’t know what she’s thinking. “I should be back in time to get Levi so you can go.”

Quinn hears the scoff as Rachel continues up the stairs. She can’t help but roll her eyes in return.

“And what do you do, when that happens?”

Quinn plays with her casted fingers, picking at her nail. “I don’t know…”

“Do you guys ever apologize, or try to explain later on? When you’re both calm?”

She almost laughs. Do they _apologize…_ No. She and Rachel don’t apologize. They never have. They just stare at each other. Quinn used to know what Rachel’s eyes meant, when she looked at her after a huge fight, or during a huge fight, or _before_ a huge fight. But now, Rachel is a decade ahead of her on _looks,_ and Quinn has no clue what to say to make things better. She isn’t even sure she _wants_ to make things better.

Dr. Larkson shuts her notebook audibly, before leaning in to Quinn. The blonde automatically leans back.

“Quinn, here’s what I want you to try. Next time you and Rachel have an argument… Well, first, you need to make sure no children are in the room. Take Levi upstairs, and use that as an opportunity to calm down, and reassess the situation. Does it really warrant an argument?”

“It never warrants an argument,” Quinn murmurs, rolling her eyes. “Rachel just-”

“Rachel is lashing out, because she feels you doing the same. She’s stressed, and anxious, and already hormonal. Does it excuse her actions? No, of course not. But it explains them.”

Quinn tenses, her brow furrowing as she crosses her arms, annoyed at the scratchy plaster against her bare arm. Why the hell does she own so many t-shirts? She misses her jackets and blouses. “What explains her going through my journal the other day?”

“Do you want to know the reasoning behind it, or do you want to be upset about it?”

Quinn doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t know.

“Well. Rachel doesn’t understand you right now. You guys weren’t very close ten years ago. You lived in New Haven, and she lived in New York. So she really doesn’t know how you work. She doesn’t know what you’re thinking. She was desperate to know. She went through your journal. She shouldn’t have. But she did. How do you feel about that?”

They just stare at each other. Quinn’s so damn tired of people staring at her. Waiting for her to say something. It’s never ending. She doesn’t know how much longer she can sit in a chair, or on an examination table, or her own damn kitchen counter, and just watch people _stare_ at her.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Staying with Rachel, I mean. All we do is fight, and it’s messing with Levi. Beth hates me, and I can’t help but… I don’t know. I’m losing my mind.”

“Then _tell_ her that.”

###### 

“What do you _want_ to do, Quinn? And don’t say turn back time again.”

She twists the wine cooler in her hands, brow furrowing. “I want to leave. I want to run.”

Instead of giving his input, Sam exhales harshly, bringing his own drink to his lips and taking a long swig.

They’ve been sitting here, on his balcony, for the better part of the day. Levi’s down for a nap in Sam’s guest room, after a particularly rough trade off with Rachel that had resulted in Quinn telling Rachel that she wanted a divorce in front of their whole neighborhood.

She imagined everyone thought she was the worst person in the world, letting her heavily pregnant wife drive off after that whole fiasco. _God, this is going to be the most stressed out baby in the world._

“I don’t think you guys should get a divorce,” Sam finally says. “I think that would put a lot of stress on the kids. On Rachel. On you, even if you don’t think so. And what happens if you get your memories back?”

Quinn rolls her eyes. “It’s been almost a month, and nothing’s happened.”

“That doesn’t mean that nothing will. Have faith, Quinn.”

“Mommy?” Levi steps out onto the balcony, clutching the stuffed dinosaur he takes _everywhere,_ and clambers into Quinn’s lap, still sleepy. She cradles his head with her good hand, fingers tangling in his curls.

“Did you have a good nap, Bubs?”

“Yes. Where Momma?”

Sam gives her a _look,_ and Quinn resists the urge to tear him apart.

“She’s at the doctor, remember?” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “We’ll see her later. She’s going to come pick us up.”

He just nods, and she’s pretty sure he dozes off again, because he doesn’t move when Sam starts speaking again.

“A divorce will be… hell on you guys. It’s hell on anyone. You know that. But the added stress… I don’t think it’s worth it, Quinn.”

Sam claps a hand on her shoulder as he stands, stretching his legs. “I have to go answer a work email. I’ll be right back.” His hand runs against Levi’s head, and he squints as his thumb slides over the mini bald patch. “Did he do that?”

Quinn nods. “His doctor thinks… She thinks it’s stress.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, just gives her another _look,_ and she ignores it completely this time, holding Levi tighter and staring at the skyline before her.

###### 

Quinn moves out on a Thursday, and into Sam’s apartment. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t help.

Beth comes home right before she leaves, and barely even glances at Quinn, ignoring Rachel when she says to say goodbye.

“I’ll talk to her later,” the blonde promises, bouncing Levi in her arms for a few more seconds, before she lets him down and watches him toddle to Rachel. “And I’ll see you… Saturday.”

Rachel just nods, hand on Levi’s head as he wraps himself around her leg. They’re both getting too big for her to pick him up, and Quinn’s chest hurts with the reminder of the third baby she’s leaving behind.

_Not leaving behind. You’ll be around. They’re still… your kids._

Barely.

Beth doesn’t claim her anymore. That much is obvious when it’s Jesse who hands her the flyer for Beth’s dance recital, while dropping Levi off one day. (The last time Rachel dropped Levi off, Sam got a noise complaint, and Levi just stared at her from the opposite end of the couch while they watched Curious George.)

She claps so hard when it’s over. The lanky second-grader she once had to drag to ballet is now a well-rounded dancer, complete with cupcake hands and an excessive amount of bobby pins. Quinn and Levi are the first to greet her, with roses and matching grins.

But the girl doesn’t even look at her, instead kissing Levi’s cheek when he gives her the flowers, and tugging on Finn’s arm when he loudly asks which boy she has a crush on. Everyone laughs, as if they already know, and Quinn tries to smile along, but _God,_ she should know these things.

And maybe that’s why she forces Beth to come over, under the guise of watching Levi while she works for a few hours, because Rachel has a doctor’s appointment and Quinn can and will still tell her what to do.

“Beth, look at me. Can we _please_ just have a conversation? I just want to talk to you. I want to know what’s going on. How do you feel about all of this?”

Quinn should be expecting the blow up. Beth _is_ her daughter, after all, but… She really wasn’t ready to deal with her teenage self. “Why do you care? Why now, after all you’ve already done? You’re gone! You moved to the other side of the damn city! Did you know Mom was at your show? She went last week. Avery keeps sending us texts asking how you are, and we keep covering for you, when in reality, we have no clue!”

“Beth, I’m sorry. I’ll do better with updating-”

“I had to take Mom to the hospital the other night. She wouldn’t let me call you, because she didn’t want to _bother_ you. She didn’t want to bother her _wife._ Do you understand how fucked that is?”

“Okay, Beth. You wanna be an adult? I’ll treat you like an adult. Do you understand that this is what I’m doing so that Rachel and I don’t get a divorce? Do you understand that one month ago, I had _one_ child, and now I have two kids and a pregnant wife. I’m trying to mentally prepare for a baby that is coming in a few weeks-”

“So is Mom! And she needs you. She won’t say it, but she does. You had her. For Levi, and even for me. But she needs you right now. And you just need to be there for her. Because at the end of the day, that is _your_ baby that she’s carrying. And you’re being such a shitty wife and mom that I don’t think you’ve even processed that.”

“Watch it, Beth. I am still your mother.”

Giant eyes stare back at her, and all Quinn sees is Finn Hudson. Finn, wanting her to come over for dinner with his mom. Finn, telling her that she needs to stop hating herself. Finn, asking her if she really wants to give up the newborn baby in his arms. For a split second, she sees herself, too. She can practically see the mirror now, can hear herself wonder if it’s all worth it. If it’ll be worth it. She’s suddenly so overwhelmingly sure that it is.

And then all she sees is Beth. Brave, beautiful, angry Beth. Her Beth. The Beth she’s watched get up and fall down a million times over. The Beth that has learned from Quinn’s lessons, Finn’s lessons, her _own_ lessons. Rachel’s lessons, too. The Beth that is a perfectly imperfect mix of all of these people. The Beth that is entirely her own.

“Are you? Because I’ve been begging for my mother back for weeks now, and all I see is a shell of the woman that was once here.”

Quinn isn’t surprised that Sam gets another noise complaint, what with how loud the door slams when Beth leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been, like, four months, but we did not forget about this baby. hopefully we'll update before the next four months pass us by.
> 
> please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! thanks for reading xx

**Author's Note:**

> hey there! lex and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this au! if you did, please leave kudos and comments. 
> 
> thanks for reading!! xx


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